Ten things: Movies

Ten things I've learned from watching movies.

1.) The rules Randy said in Scream about being in a horror movie? Yeah. All completely true.

2.) No matter how you get the girl/guy to fall in love with you, she/he'll forgive you of it if enough time passes, or you do something incredibly embarrassing to yourself. You could have been posing as the opposite gender, using him/her in some sort of secret plot, or any number of incredibly asinine "obviously bad ideas that will eventually, inevitably go wrong" happenings.

3.) Old people are all either grumpy with a heart of gold, know-it-alls who've had incredibly inspirational lives, or beloved eccentric people who die at the exact moment everything is going right for you.

4.) Everyone has at least one redeeming quality, (even obviously evil, unlike-able people), which will show up in the form of a tear, or sad look as they die.

5.) There is always only one scientist that really understands what is going on in an emergency, and no one will listen to him until a whole lot of bad things have happened.

6.) No one ever gets away with any sort of crime unless they're funny and good looking.

7.) If you do get a date,(or get into a relationship) with the girl/guy of your dreams, something will inevitably go wrong. Fortunately, this can be fixed easily through self-humiliation (i.e. singing outside a window at 3 a.m.).

8.) Ugly girls are hot once you clean them up...every time, without fail.

9.) If you miraculously receive superhuman powers, you must turn incredibly good, or incredibly evil. There's no inbetween.

10.) If you come across several attractive, flirtatious women in the middle of nowhere, run. Messing with them will only lead to you being loved up and turned into a horny toad, or turned in to the authorities as a Confederate deserter.