Just Shut Up!!!

Movies are a huge part of my life. Actually, probably more of my life than is actually healthy. Our living room looks like a small Blockbuster Video, we have so many VHS tapes and DVD's.

Part of the enjoyment of a movie, naturally, is that for a short time, you escape your reality, and get pulled into the story of the characters in the film. Yes, books can have the same effect, but that falls into an entirely different category for me.

So, that's why I got a bit upset at the freakin' movies tonight.

We went to see "In Good Company" and had a trio of genetic rejects come in late and flop down a few seats away. An older man and his wife, and their daughter. It was obviously their daughter, as loudly, as the movie started, she announced, "Mom, we're sitting down here! There's no stairs over there!"

Now, I don't want to sound like some kind of movie theater snob, but these people drove me nuts. You forget to turn off your cell phone? That's okay, as long as you answer fast, and hang up faster. Think of something funny to tell a friend, or need to ask them a question? Fine. Whisper it to them, and then shut up.

Part of the problem with that is that half of the people in the world don't seem to understand the difference between a stage whisper and a whisper. The proper way to whisper is to get close to someone's ear, and basically his the words, or say them under your breath. If it's a loud situation, like a car chase scene in a movie, then move closer to the ear, instead of attempting to raise the volume of the whisper. When you raise that volume, it becomes a stage whisper, easily heard by everyone else, and more likely to be heard than, say, a mutter, because of the distinct hissing sound you're making, which annoys the crap out of me, when I'm trying to watch the movie I paid to see.

I need to be pulled into the story, and that's not going to happen if someone's a few seats down from me, stage whispering to her mother, (who laughs like a donkey being tortured), about how that actress is on CSI: Miami. I can't let the narrative take me away if someone's repeating every line she finds halfway amusing, (and she had a really strange sense of humor), to her father, who keeps blowing his nose loudly, like a dented trumpet trapped uncomfortably in an elephant's trunk. I can't enjoy myself with someone's idiotic inability to shut up!

Deprived of my out-of-body-into-film experience, I got fed up, and I went:

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

...and they shut up, for ten minutes. Then it started in again. I gave up, and just enjoyed the movie as best I could, imagining a reality in which the three didn't exist, where I was totally wrapped up in Topher Grace's inability to just relax and realize he hates what he does for a living. I went to my happy place, where I could truly enjoy the adorable qualities of Scarlett Johansson.

Then, the movie ended, and the mother had the freakin' nerve to "apologize" for her daughter's behavior. Don't apologize to me, woman! You should have told your ridiculously loud wench of a daughter to shut her flapping, sparkly-glossed lips! You should have taught her at an earlier age, (did I mention the daughter looked like she was in her late-late teens, or twenties?), that in the movie theater, you watch the movie! You don't comment on every little thing!

(Stops, catches his breath.)

Anyway, that was my exciting Friday night. Sorry about the rant, but I had to let it out. Had to!

Look, a blog post!

I'm neglecting the blog again, and I know it. I'm bad! Horribly, awfully bad.

...and I really do feel bad about not posting much. Partly because I don't want to feel like I'm abandoning this thing which I've built, and fussed over, and spent a small, but vital part of my life putting together. Partly because I know some people actually read it, and I feel bad for not giving them a good reason to believe they didn't just waste a mouse click.

The other part is that I hate the fact that there might only be four or so posts in some of the monthly archive pages, and that just doesn't look good, when someone's going back through it all.

One the other hand, I feel really good about the comic. Through Keenspace, who hosts my little strip, I've gained connections and friends, and that's a great thing. I've finally gotten the comic page organized and pretty enough that I don't look at it and say, "I need to change that" anymore. I've almost got forty strips.

It's incredible.

Then, on the...third hand? Yeah. Whatever. I have the novel, which is just sitting there, with nothing. No updates, because I haven't been writing on it. I take that back, actually. I wrote about a fourth of a chapter the other night, just to prove I could still work on it. I can, and am trying to. It's just hard to get motivated, for some reason.

Am I stretching myself out too far creatively? Am I trying to do too much at once? R~ says I'm insane, doing so much at once, but I love it. These things don't feel like a burden, really. I just seem to be having difficulty getting myself moving on the blog and novel, while with the comic, I'm going above and beyond the call of duty on a daily basis.

So if things are slow, don't hate me, and don't consider your click wasted. Just sacrifice one more precious click, and look at the comic page, and see what's been taking up my all my blogging time...

Bob's pointless email question thing

Bob was bored. He figured, "Why not?"

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1. What is your full name: Bob...if I told you the rest I'd have to kill you! Bada-bing!

2. What color pants are you wearing now: Bright red sweatpants.

3. What are you listening to right now: Flock of Seagulls.

4. What are the last two digits of your phone number: 66

5. What was the last thing you ate: Half a box of Krispy Kremes.

6. If you were a crayon what color would you be: Copper, or Brown.

7. How is the weather right now: Beautifully cold, gray and overcast.

8. Last person you talked to on the phone: Time and temperature.

9. The first thing you notice about a girl: Breasts! No...wait...I mean, personality!

10. Do you like the person who sent this to you: Mr. Dane? Yeah, he's...okay, I guess.

11. Are you happy today: Not really.

12. What is your favorite drink: Fresca mixed with Diet Pepsi! Yum!

13. Favorite alcoholic drink: Anything fruity...and Goldschlager.

14. What is your favorite sport: All of them!

15. What is your hair color: Bald.

16. Eye color: Brown.

17. Do you wear contacts: No.

18. Siblings: Nope...my momma spoiled me!

19. Favorite month: January.

20. Favorite food: Guacamole.

21. What was the last movie you saw? The Hours.

22. Favorite day of the year: Milton Berle's birthday...God rest his soul.

23. Are you too shy to ask someone out: No?

24. Summer or Winter: Winter.

25. Hugs or Kisses: Both!

26. Chocolate or Vanilla: Swirl.

27. Do you want your friends to write back: Friends?

28. Who is least likely to respond: Mr. Dane (Since he's imaginary.)

29. What's under your bed: Stacks of magazines, and shoe boxes full of...well, nevermind.

31. What's on your mouse pad: Ashlee Simpson.

32. What is your favorite board game? Monopoly Jr.

33. Favorite smells: Vanilla and pickles.

34. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Yep.

35. What inspires you: My excellent driving record.

36. Do you like your popcorn with salt or plain popcorn? I like it with ketchup.

37. What is your favorite flower: Magnolia...and the movie was EXCELLENT!

38. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? Ashlee Simpson...cause her posters are right there on the ceiling!

Pointless email question thing

I was bored. Figured, "Why not?"

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1. What is your full name: Corgan Dane

2. What color pants are you wearing now: Arizona Wide-leg blue-jeans.

3. What are you listening to right now: Nothing, strangely enough...(turns on the radio.)

4. What are the last two digits of your phone number: 36

5. What was the last thing you ate: A roll of Smarties.

6. If you were a crayon what color would you be: Cobalt Blue

7. How is the weather right now: cold, gray, overcast.

8. Last person you talked to on the phone: My wife's friend, Sarah.

9. The first thing you notice about a girl: Smile.

10. Do you like the person who sent this to you: I stole it from R's blog...and I like her. Yep.

11. Are you happy today: Pretty much.

12. What is your favorite drink: Coke.

13. Favorite alcoholic drink: Don't really have a favorite. (shrugs) Not a big drinker.

14. What is your favorite sport: Golf, I guess. Not a big sports guy, either.

15.what is your hair color: Brown.

16. Eye color: Blue.

17. Do you wear contacts: No.

18. Siblings: Three. One sister, two brothers.

19. Favorite month: Can't pick. I love the holidays of October and December, but hate the weather. I love the weather in June and July, but nothing fun happens. So I don't know.

20. Favorite food: Anything with pasta, meat, and cheese involved.

21. What was the last movie you saw? The Aviator.

22. Favorite day of the year: Halloween.

23. Are you too shy to ask someone out: Sometimes.

24. Summer or Winter: Summer.

25. Hugs or Kisses: Kisses.

26. Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate.

27. Do you want your friends to write back: Kind of a useless question...

28. Who is least likely to respond: Bob. (Since he's imaginary.)

29. What's under your bed: Dust bunnies.

31. What's on your mouse pad: Spiderman.

32. What is your favorite board game? Risk.

33. Favorite smells: Oranges, Fresh pastry, and Woodsmoke.

34. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Almost...

35. What inspires you: Depends.

36. Do you like your popcorn with salt or plain popcorn? Kettle corn...mmm....sweet.

37. What is your favorite flower: I don't know.

38. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? "Just a little longer..."

Delusional Sitcom Pointlessness

Things just never turn out like you expect them to, really. I mean, sometimes things end up close to what you imagine, but very rarely does everything go just the way you planned.

I planned on going to college, getting my degree straight out of high school, and going to work doing something I liked that paid me enough money that I could buy all the videogames I wanted.

Yeah. That didn't work out.

I have to admit, I never really thought I would ever get married. It just sort of snuck up on me, and really, it's been a pleasant surprise. I never thought I'd be where I am, living the relatively comfortable life that I do. This isn't to say I never have problems, or anything. Money and school constantly give me problems, but that's just how things are, and I'm used to it now.

Things have turned out well, and will hopefully keep getting better as time passes. I'm slowly balding, and I've come to grips with that. It's called a hat. Beautiful thing. I've come to realize I'll never be skinny, never be truly cool in the socially accepted sense, and never get that dream date with Christina Ricci. Those things just aren't attainable, or important.

If I'd known where I am now a few years ago, though, I would have been disappointed. Twenty year old me wouldn't have seen the good in where I am, or understood how I can be content as I am, or how in the world I would have ended up with my wife.

(Sure, he thought she was great, but mainly just a friend. It would have freaked my younger self out completely!)

I blame his disillusionment on a lot of factors. Societal ideas of the good life, and of family, for one. But mainly, I blame it on sitcoms.

I know, you're thinking, "Sitcoms? They're just television shows!" I disagree, or course. Sitcoms, (and other programming), were my other family growing up. I laughed at Urkel, had a crush on the girl from Full house, (I think her name was D.J.?), and wished my Wonder Years were as touching and interesting as those I saw on what my Dad has always jokingly called the "One-eyed god."

With their perfect thirty-minute, (or hour-long), endings and things that always worked out, they put in my mind this sense of how things should be, and how in the end, everyone always loved each other perfectly. Even when bad things happened, everything came out fine, even if it took a few "to be continued's."

It was all crap-ola, really. A bunch of junk. Meaningless drivel.

Life isn't that perfect, because we as a species, as the human race aren't perfect. We hate for no reason, do spiteful things, and feel the less desirable emotions like jealousy and greed.

It's a good thing, too. Life would be boring, otherwise. That's why sitcoms grow old after a few years on the air. Yeah, they may stay funny, like Frasier, but most of them die slowly, twisting and turning in the anguish of their perfect worlds. They have to make the stories more and more unbelievable, because they've made the family or group on the show so...lovey-dovey perfect that they have no more real conflict to play off of.

If you don't believe me, watch the last season of Family Matters.

So my life isn't a sitcom, like I imagined it would be. Those patterns and expectations that were slowly ingrained into my thoughts in thirty-minute chunks are out now. Erased. Gone.

I understand life more clearly now, because I've seen it, and been a part of it. Sure, there are bumps, have been bumps, and will be bumps in the journey, but isn't that half the fun?

Must...write...blog...post...

Well, hello!

A few updates on things.

1.) Got the puppy, named Poe. He's adorable, a bit stinky, and eats every meal like it's his last.

2.) I got a record player! Woot! I've been dying for one ever since my Grandmother's old one died, and I had to let it go. Now I can listen to my records again, and hear that lovely crackle. (Also, I have the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack on vinyl, and it's freaking beautiful!)

3.) Got a few other things, too. New office chair, a drawing table, and a Nintendo DS. The table is great, the chair is fine, but needs to be broken in, and the DS is just...fun. Especially since I got The Urbz: Sims in the City for it, and Super Mario DS.

4.) I ordered a custom made shirt with my WebComic on it. The colors were changed slightly in printing the shirt, but it looks good, and it feels awesome to wear a shirt with my own stuff on it. The only mistake I made was that I put the web address on the back as www.grimtidings.keenspace.com, and there is no www on the web address for it.

Whoops!

Anyway, now I'll do a regular post, since this really doesn't count!

(Flips his Bing Crosby record, and waits for inspiration to strike.)